I am not quite sure when courage learned my name, but at times i wish we were still strangers. For the past nine days, ever since I accepted the request to write and read two poems for a Jazz night concert, I have been a nervous wreck.
I enjoy having opportunitites to speak, but the thought of putting my innermost emotions (via poems), thoughts and passions on stage in front of hundreds of people I don't know, is rather frightening. It's days like these that make me wonder why in the world I constantly make myself so vulnerable. Obviously there's no backing out now. I just hope I can keep my nerves calm during the day. Once I am up on that stage, the jitters should subside, but until then I am going to have to keep myself occupied so I do not become overwhelmed with thoughts of no one liking my poetry.
Despite the temporary unease circulating through my veins right now, I am determined to enjoy the beautiful music, great singing, and laughs with friends. The calls I receive from courage are not always welcomed, but I am appreciative of his persistence. It is through this trying relationship I have learned to not hide from, but actively participate in the experiences life brings my way.
May you dare to do the same...
Friday, July 10, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
It's Taken Me a Week to Cool Off
I had to wait a week to write this, otherwise it would have sounded like, "Wah, wah, wah." I got, (yes I said got), my second traffic ticket five days ago. Last Wednesday, to be exact. A day I decided to take off, just because. I had no particular thing to do that day, I just wanted to have a nice, enjoyable work-free eight hours.
Well, the day did not turn out at all as I had imagined.
Admittedly, I was going XX on a XX speed limit road. But it was the middle of the day. The road is no longer a residential road. They have increased the number of lanes and adjusted all of the traffic lights to accomodate the load. There were six motorcycled police officers pulling folks like me at 1:00 in the afternoon - HELLO - it was a speed trap.
I was not a happy camper. The police officer who wrote me the ticket didn't care. Neither of us smiled of course. I was unhappy but not crazy. I did not open my mouth to say anything. I just took my ticket - the second one I've received in over twenty years of driving - from the same spot about one year ago that I got (yes I said got) the first one.
As I drove home I asked myself who I was upset with. It's a fact that the police officers knew they would make a few thousand dollars that day. But I also gave them a reason to stop me. The truth can sometimes be so inconvenient. I'd rather harp on the nerve of the county to make up their shortfall on us poor residents, but the fact that I was going XX miles on a XX speed limit road, would not go out of my head.
I decided to just calm down, accept that I got (...) a ticket and made a commitment to slow down. Maybe that was the point, I thought. I rush everything. All the time. I want work done quickly, meals in seconds and my hair dry in minutes. I took a couple of deep breaths accepted the fact that I earned that ticket and decided to use the experience to improve my behavior in other areas of my life.
By the way, is there anything a community can do about speed traps? Just kidding (sort of).
Well, the day did not turn out at all as I had imagined.
Admittedly, I was going XX on a XX speed limit road. But it was the middle of the day. The road is no longer a residential road. They have increased the number of lanes and adjusted all of the traffic lights to accomodate the load. There were six motorcycled police officers pulling folks like me at 1:00 in the afternoon - HELLO - it was a speed trap.
I was not a happy camper. The police officer who wrote me the ticket didn't care. Neither of us smiled of course. I was unhappy but not crazy. I did not open my mouth to say anything. I just took my ticket - the second one I've received in over twenty years of driving - from the same spot about one year ago that I got (yes I said got) the first one.
As I drove home I asked myself who I was upset with. It's a fact that the police officers knew they would make a few thousand dollars that day. But I also gave them a reason to stop me. The truth can sometimes be so inconvenient. I'd rather harp on the nerve of the county to make up their shortfall on us poor residents, but the fact that I was going XX miles on a XX speed limit road, would not go out of my head.
I decided to just calm down, accept that I got (...) a ticket and made a commitment to slow down. Maybe that was the point, I thought. I rush everything. All the time. I want work done quickly, meals in seconds and my hair dry in minutes. I took a couple of deep breaths accepted the fact that I earned that ticket and decided to use the experience to improve my behavior in other areas of my life.
By the way, is there anything a community can do about speed traps? Just kidding (sort of).
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